I want to tell you a little more about my spirituality.
I feel a spiritual, orgasmic connection with nature. That, in fact, is my own definition of a witch–someone who feels the divine through nature, and for whom that feeling has an subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) orgasmic quality. We witches feel nature with all our senses, and we cannot fully separate the erotic flows of energy through our body, with the pulsing life force given to us by our Mother Gaia.
I came up with a term to describe this dynamic: “Gaia Kink.” Not all witches will relate to this, but I know many who do: if we have a relationship to our Earth Mama, it is a kinky one. We do not stay at erotic reserve from our Earth Mama, as is appropriate for our biological mamas. We feel our Earth Mama fucking open our spirits, and we make love right back. It’s pretty freaky. But then, we witches (at least, the ones I know) are a freaky bunch.
For me, Gaia does not appear directly through all of nature. Rather, she appears to me through one plant in particular: the cannabis plant.
Just as other people feel a spiritual connection to magic mushrooms, peyote, or ayahuasca, and bow down to the spirits associated with these plants, I bow down to the Green Goddess, the spirit of the cannabis plant.
The Green Goddess is my teacher, my friend, my gentle guide, my trickster, my Domme. Gaia, the Earth Mother speaks to me through her. I believe I am inside her energetic womb, just as all human life occurs inside the womb of Mother Earth.
She is also my lover. So now, I must share with you, exactly how this female lover and guide in the spirit realm, relates to the human females in my life, most of all you.
I believe every woman who comes into my life, whom I have any interaction with beyond a passing hello, was sent to my by the Green Goddess herself, as her earthly emissary, to share something we me, teach me something, or just be a long-term familiar (part of my witch family) in this hike through life.
This means that I worship you as divine, I view you as a teacher, and I try as best I can (imperfectly, as you know) to treat you first and foremost as a manifestation of the divine, sent to me for some reason that becomes more and more clear to me the more we relate.
Now, you may not feel yourself to be an emissary of the spirit of the cannabis plant, and you may not wish to view yourself that way. I do not need you to believe any particular thing, nor adopt any particular worldview. You be you, my practical, grounded, tough-minded, down-to-earth beloved. I just need you to know that’s how I view things.
Far out? Yes. But I’m not joking about this. People often don’t think much of weed smokers, and sometimes for good reason. But the truth is, there is a vast history of people relating to this plant in spiritual and erotic ways, and adopting it as a sacrament central to their spiritual outlook and their sensual explorations. I come from that tradition–in my own witchy way.
The Green Goddess sends me the women I dance with, and I try my best to bow down and accept the particular gifts each one brings to me.
In this letter, I won’t try to enumerate all the gifts you bring to me–I need dozens of letters to do that, and I’m writing them! I just want to state, you are the greatest gift from Gaia in my life.
We have talked a great deal about what “primary” means within the context of our polyamory. I hope this letter explains it more fully. Primary means, you are the primary human on earth through which I commune with my Goddess. There are others–the Goddess is manifold. And I will write love letters to them too. My life is a walking Love Letter to the Green Goddess.
But you my home, my spiritual center, you are the one who makes me feel most secure on this planet, you are the one who muses me the most, you are the one who has the most to teach me, just through who you are as a person and the way you interact with me. You are the one I can press most of myself into. You take more of my full being inside of you, and more, seemingly without limit.
So how could I possibly ever let you go? I can’t. I’m hooked, just as I’m hooked on the orgasmic force of life, hooked on this mysterious thing called…
[Image: Nymphe by Gaston Bussière]
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